Crimes Of The Heart
by The Twisted Paradoxx
Summary: Beast boy is heartbroken by Terra's departure and her speech on how things change. broken and lonely he tried to fix himself but along the way he finds comfort with raven but the road is long especially with another beast waiting in the dark ready to snatch her. thus the battle begins over her heart and over the right on who gets to claim her as their mate. BBRAE
1. Chapter 1: Onwards to the future

"**Crimes Of The Heart."**

**Chapter 1: Onwards to the future.**

**WARNINGS: characters aren't mine. I don't have a beta so any grammar mistakes found please tell me! ENJOY!**

* * *

**Beast Boy's Point Of View-**

As I walked out the school where I will most likely last see of Terra, I felt an ache deep inside my heart. Realizing a truth that was most evident... I would never see Terra again even if I loved her and missed our memories together. Why? Because things change.

That's fucking why!

Things change no matter what and at the end of it all we really don't know who we meet today and lose tomorrow. I was walking the street when I buried my hands into my hair and gripped tightly, feeling as if my thoughts would end up eating me alive.

I just can't believe what she told me last… I just **_can't _**believe Slade was **_right…_** my friends were right. Even if she was Terra; she didn't remember me... Well, at least she didn't want to but I just can't help but wonder _why?_I gave her **EVERYTHING **yet she decides to forget it all willingly. All of her past… all of her friends and all of me...

I sighed as I realized that, well; this was all bound to happen. I acknowledge that Terra is an unstable person giving everything that she ever went through but still…

I still held hope that I would be one of the few people she would decide to keep around you know?

I guess it's true when people say that hope is a very dangerous thing to have.

I decided to just push everything back into the recesses of my mind and then shifted into an eagle and flew away.

Yes, flying like a bird took a whole lot out of me but it was the few times where I felt truly free and at peace. When I was a bird was when I would take my time and think.

I saw titans tower and the beach by out in the distance and decided that well, a little sitting by the docks wouldn't be so bad at all.

I sighed as I shifted back to my normal self as I landed swiftly on the sand. I inhaled deeply the smell of the ocean and let the calming sound of the waves clashing against the shore soothe me. I promptly sat on the sand, placing my arms on my knees and laid my head on top.

The sun was setting, the sky filled with different shade of pink, red and orange with a little bit of purple.

_Purple…_

"_**Terra isn't a good person Beast boy!"**_

_**I sighed as I ran a hand down my face. Seriously, why does Raven have to be such a pain? Why does she always gotta poop on my parade!**_

"_**You don't know anything Rae."**_

"_**Raven. It's Raven, Beast boy."**_

"_**Pfft, whatever."**_

Should have listened to her, huh?

Fuck, how I hated it every time Raven was right.

* * *

**Third Person Point Of View-**

_Back at titan's tower…_

Cyborg walked back and forth looking over the tape of the attack between him and the monster.

"So Robin, you got a clue as to who this guy is?" he said looking at the paused image of the creature. "If it even is human…"

Robin looked at the video over and over again. Rewinding the part where the monster disappeared trying to figure out how it did that.

"I'm afraid to say…" he paused then diverted his gaze towards Cyborg. "I... I don't know, Cyborg. We never faced a villain like this before."

He sighed before walking away from the screen looking at the ground. "Beast boy ... Beast boy should have _been there_!" Robin said remembering how many times they needed him during the mission but he failed to show regardless of all the times he called him through their communicator. "I'm starting to worry about him; he's starting to obsess over Terra."

Starfire saw Robin's reaction feeling anxiety eating away at her nerves. She was worried for the Changeling because throughout the whole fight Beast boy never came and needless to say that had been hours ago… she was starting to wonder if he got himself into trouble in his search for Terra...

Starfire knew just how the Changeling felt. She bit her lip as she looked over at Robin who was currently typing away furiously at the computer with Cyborg standing next to him. If anything were to ever happen to him… she didn't know what she would do if she were to ever lose Robin. So, yes, she knew how beast boy felt and she knew also she would be lying if she didn't admit it out loud that she missed her dear friend Terra.

"Friends…" at the sound of her voice everyone in the room paused what they were doing and turned to look at her. "I understand we did not do the 'kicking of the butt' with the monster but I can't help but ask what is of our friend Beast boy?"

As she said this she noticed robin becoming aggravated, she took notice of his fists clenching and unclenching but she kept on talking even if she was feeling hurt by his reaction. "Should we not go look for him?"

* * *

**Raven's Point Of View-**

Seriously?

I looked at Starfire with a blank expression, then breathed in calming breaths as I pinched the bridge of my nose. Azar…

I opened my eyes then crossed my arms over my chest as I answered her.

"Starfire, if Beast boy needed us he'd call us..."

Starfire looked at me with puppy dog eyes as she bit her lip slightly. I looked off to the side.

Why does Beast boy do this?

I don't know how many times I have stated it to the world how horrible Terra was… she betrayed us, gave us out to Slade. If Beast boy was out on a dog hunt after her than by all means Beast boy do whatever you want. I'm done trying to prevent that idiot from getting hurt from the inevitable.

I couldn't help but snort and shake my head at Starfire proposing for us to go look for him.

"Starfire… Beast boy is a big boy and I'm more than positive that he will return home once he is done doing whatever it is that he had been doing,"

"What if he finds her…" Starfire said as she looked at everyone around the room. "What if he brings her home?"

The silence that then over took the room was tense and eerie.

'_What if he brings her home, Raven?' _I could hear knowledge's voice say in my mind. '_What if she comes back?'_

Terra… the traitor we trusted her. We gave her a _home_ and all she did was betray us! We gave her a hand and she went for the arm…

What will I do if she comes back? I narrowed my eyes and decided that that thought was enough for tonight and I just wanted to go meditate now. I cleared my throat and walking up towards everyone letting my hood down.

"Starfire IF Beast boy _cared _for us he wouldn't have left us there to fight alone." I said looking at Starfire who in turn frowned realizing that there was truth behind my words.

"And if he brings her back then the decision as to whether she stays or not will be left to you all because I for one don't wish to associate with the likes of her anymore."

I looked at Robin who nodded his head at me. He looked at Starfire next and sighed.

"Starfire, Raven's right… I'm more than positive he's gonna come home and once he does I'm going to have a serious talk with him to remind him of his priorities."

I saw him walked over to her and rest a comforting hand on her shoulder. "We're a team regardless of anything going on outside, _this_ **team** comes first." He looked at me next his eyebrows furrowing as he licked his lips. "Now as to whether or not Terra is alive or if it's true and he brings her home that will be a discussion that will be had once it happens."

And while Robin said that the common doors opened revealing Beast boy coming through them.

Looks like the man of the hour has arrived.

My eyes narrowed as I saw him standing there confusion written all over his face but when he looked at everyone in the room I couldn't help but wince and look away once his eyes had met mines.

* * *

**Beast Boy's Point Of View-**

I stopped midair hearing the doors behind shut close. I knew what everyone had been talking about as I made my way through the hallway outside. Though I hadn't heard everything I did hear the last's bits of the conversation that was being held before I entered the room. I decided though that it was best to just act confused than to rather argue with everyone, especially, Raven since I could feel her throwing daggers at me with her eyes.

I knew I fucked up.

While I had been outside on the beach thinking I realized that even though I was sad about the whole Terra shit I had abandoned my team during a time when they really needed me.

I felt like I had turned my back on my family.

No…

They are my family and I needed to apologize to everyone and I knew that I had a whole lot to explain, especially to Boy blunder over here who was looking at me with a frown and his arms crossed.

I took my time looking at everyone in the room, Robin and Cyborg looked aggravated while Starfire looked joyful and relieved but the one stare that got me confused was Raven's, she had clearly been angry but as soon as we made eye contact she turned her gazed away wincing.

I understood why my friends were mad but couldn't think of a reason why Raven's was hurt. I thought on approaching her but we all know when it comes to Raven it's better to just stay put and not add heat to already growing fire.

"Why is everybody looking at me like that?" I asked even though I knew why but I meant that question more towards Rae.

Robin walked up to me the second that question left my mouth. "Because Beast boy we were facing a dangerous criminal and you were nowhere to be found!" he leaned more inwards effectively breaking my staring contest with Raven and I looked at him in the eyes.

"I called you and you said you were coming yet it's 10 at night and you just get home where were you?"

His question brought back all the memories of my afternoon and my farewell with 'Terra.' I felt my chest clench at the thoughts crossing through my mind. my ears drooped while I answered him back in a whisper

"I was… I was looking for Terra... I found her at her school we talked but she told me to just basically leave her alone and never come back… she said _things change …"_

_Fuck I sound pathetic._

I saw the look everyone in the room was giving me.

Pity.

They all felt bad for me and I hated that.

I could tell that even Robin was feeling sympathetic because I felt his hand on my shoulder gripping firmly.

"Beast boy… I can see that you are currently going through a hard time and know it's hard but I don't know if Terra is alive or not and I can't just _believe_ you off the bat like that but… but you can't just _leave_ your team like that. We _needed_ you in this fight and not only that but we could have been in danger and been seriously injured. Hell, I think with you we might have had a fighting chance against that _thing_. I know you're sad about Terra but things will get better. Besides, no matter how 'things change' the one thing you should be sure of is us never parting ways."

I looked at Boy blunder feeling shocked to my core at the words he just said to me. he gave me small smile. Then in the next second I felt a cold metal arm grab me then lock around my neck then another cold, hard, metal hand giving me a noogie.

"Yeah, Grass-stain, you know you always got us! Plus Terra… well, you know we all miss her man."

I couldn't help but grin as I pushed him off of me. "Yeah, thanks Cy, I know. And I know you guys may not believe me but I think that's her you know… she just probably needs some time to remember or space I don't know."

To say I felt relief would be an understatement.

I'm glad I have these guys are my support system but I still know that an apology was still due. I looked at everyone and rubbed my back of my head with my hand as I spoke.

"So uh… do you guys forgive me? ... For you know abandoning you guys today. I know it was really wrong and I won't do it again. I promise."

I looked at everyone then at Raven waiting for the reactions that were bound to happen. Starfire was the first to come rushing towards me giggling and giving me bone crushing hug.

"Oh, of course we forgive you! In Tamaran friends never ever stay mad at their friends."

Robin put his hands on his hips while giving me one of his serious faces. "You're forgiven but I'm still going to keep an eye on you beast boy."

Cyborg nodded grinning raising one hand up and his index pointing in the air. "Just make sure not to do it again Grass-stain or I'm gonna have to pound ya!"

I grinned and nodded my head at everyone. "Alright, alright I get you guys."

I looked around the room quickly for Raven but she was gone.

Seems like she is pissed.

Really pissed to have just left like that.

Everyone was now doing their own things around the common room. Cyborg went to cook in the kitchen and Starfire was sitting the couch with Robin looking for something to watch on the T.V, I'm happy that they were together now but the whole couple shit got me annoyed sometimes.

Ever since Tokyo man.

Good times that had been except now their display of PDA at times made my stomach churn a bit.

I sighed as I looked around the room once again and left through the common doors to head over to Raven's room. Looks like I'm gonna have to apologize personally to her.

I just hope that she understands me a bit.

I just wanna know why looked at me that way in the beginning.

The walk wasn't a long one and in no time I reached her room. I bit my lip and hesitated to knock.

Fuck that.

I raised my hand and ignored all the nervousness that I currently felt and knocked.

_Knock Knock_

No answer. I tried again.

_Knock Knock…_

Seems like she isn't gonna answer. I tried one last time but I just heard nothing from beyond the door. I sighed as I laid my head on the cold steel door.

"Rae… Raven."

I looked at the floor as I thought on what I would say next, maybe she won't answer me but that didn't mean that I still couldn't say how sorry I was. I knew she was in there I could smell her scent.

"Raven it's me beast boy…" I licked my lips as I kept on.

"Raven, look, I came… I came to say sorry for earlier. I _know_ you're mad at me and I can understand why you're just deciding to give me the silent treatment but I just wanted to say it… I'm really sorry. I'm sorry I left you guys out there today to fight… to fight alone."

I looked back up at her door waiting for a response but nothing.

It was quiet.

"I was a fucking idiot and I admit it!" I ran a hand down my face in frustration.

"Whenever you want to speak again you know where I am."

I stayed there a bit longer just starring at the door, feeling regret growing bit by bit inside of me.

I wonder just how much did I mess up the fragile relationship I shared with her.

I sighed once again and decided that I should walk on back over to my room instead of standing here looking like a creep. Raven would talk to me when she deemed it necessary anyways.

That's just how it always is, right?

* * *

**Everyone, hello, remember the story I had posted it's a beautiful lie? My first BBRAE fic? Yes, well I have revised it completely and decided to post the first chapter. The story has changed quite a lot but the plot is the same and well it will have first person point of view and third person point of view. The pacing will be slower between raven and beast boy and what not. yes, the name has also changed. Adonis is still in this story as well so will terra later on.**

**Anyways enough ranting.**

**ENJOY!**

**Next Chapter: It is what it is.**


	2. Chapter 2: It is what it is

"**Crimes Of The Heart."**

**Chapter 2: It is what it is.**

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**Raven's Point Of view…**

I knew Beast boy was outside of my door and given the fact that I could feel people's emotions I knew that he in fact was remorseful for his actions.

I knew that… I did- but…

But still.

I was hurt by the actions that he pulled earlier… him just leaving and abandoning us…

It was that single thought that kept me on alert and was currently gnawing at my insides.

Why would I- Raven, feel that way because of an action that _Beast_ _boy_ _did_…

I sighed and groaned internally as I plopped back down onto my mattress.

_You and I both know why you feel this way… it's that blonde bitch's fault Raven! - _I heard jealousy say in the deep recesses of my mind.

Jealousy speaking up was new and only meant one thing… that I was jealous but was I jealous? Even if I was jealous what would I be jealous of? Beast boy was nothing to me… he was barely a friend to begin with to be honest and given the nature of our relationship it wasn't a secret to most people.

So, then why-Why was jealousy speaking to me? Why was she saying that?

Dare I say that I was shocked at jealousy speaking because she has never spoken up before?

I rolled my eyes pretending that my emotions were just trying to be troller's and wanted me to panic about something that clearly wasn't important.

Beast boy was apologetic and he meant it.

Being the mature one out of almost everyone in this team I should forgive him and I'll do just that.

Tomorrow… tomorrow I'll have a talk with him.

* * *

So tomorrow came but I didn't have a chance to talk to Beast boy at all.

He was gone for the day doing errands… what errands that goofball had really left me wondering.

Mhm…

Anyways, I decided to just talk to him the next day.

And so as the story goes on… the next day came around.

It was around sunset when I was meditating on the roof that I felt a familiar presence down by the beach. I watched as he walked over to the edge of the island before he sat down on a big, black rock that looked more like boulder.

I sighed, deciding that right now was the perfect time to approach him and have a talk.

I blew out a raspberry as I levitated in the air and slowly, calmly flew down towards the ground beneath me. Once I landed on the ground- mere feet away from Beast boy's silhouette form, he raised his head immediately acknowledging me yet didn't utter a single word.

"Beast boy?" I asked, letting the question linger in the air. For some reason I was suddenly feeling unsure.

There was silence in the air for another good minute before he spoke.

"So, you're talking to me now?"

I sighed. This was to be expected and I knew that.

I quietly walked on over to him and promptly sat down next to him. I could feel his eyes on me, watching my actions and movements the entire time. His emotions were a mix between anxiety, confusion and hope?

Despite curiosity rising in me I didn't look at him as I stared off into the ocean. The view was beautiful. A good minute passed by before I finally decided to say what I needed to say.

This awkward tension between us wasn't something I was fond of to be honest.

"I wanted to let you know that I'm not mad at you for what you did…"

Relief…

Relief was the first emotion that made its self known in Beast boy.

Shock…

Shock was the emotion that erupted in me.

Why would he care so much that I was mad at him?

Tossing those annoying thoughts aside I kept on talking.

"Don't get me wrong… I _was_ upset- at first I had been but I understand your actions and the reasoning behind them."

"Rae…"

"Raven, its Raven- Beast boy, please, don't forget that."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" I looked at him then because I genuinely felt his remorse except now he was the one looking away, he looked down at his hands which were twirling a rock around.

"Because I messed up… Because I left you guys so that I could go chase after some… after some illusion, that's why."

"Beast boy—"

"She's gone Rae." His soft voice, almost a whisper, interrupted my sentence and hadn't his tone of voice sounded so depressed I would have reprimanded him for being rude.

He looked up, then with his right hand did a hand motion tossing the little rock out towards the ocean water. It bounced once, twice, thrice before it dipped inside the moving waters disappearing from our eyes.

"I mean she's alive but she doesn't remember me… She doesn't want anything to do with me, with us- The Titans."

I sat there quietly letting the information process through my mind. Honestly, I was thoroughly shocked because I could tell from Beast boy's emotions that he was telling the truth. There was only truth to his words, he really had seen her – Terra was alive and well.

Despite everything I had gone through with her and regardless of the fallout she and I had- I found myself feeling relieved and happy that Terra was in healthy conditions.

Despite it all I still missed her in my own way and did considered her at some point a friend, even that I couldn't deny.

I felt sympathetic towards him at the moment because every word he had said had been laced with hurt.

"It hurts you know… I know I look like I don't have emotions or don't have sufficient brain capacity to know what emotions or feelings are but I know, Raven… and it hurts and I don't know what to do." He closed his eyes before tilting his head backwards a bit. "I was a fool to chase after her you know… Dude, had anything _happened_ to any of you guys during that mission… I…I-I don't think I would have been able to forgive myself."

His feelings were in turmoil.

I grimaced, the intensity of it all was taxing on my mind and feelings as well.

"Beast boy… You're emotions… Please…"

He flinched, opening his eyes wide before looking at me. Suddenly his emotions I could feel were being subdued and put in check. They were still there just not all at once and not just the negative ones.

I smiled at him. "Thank you."

He laughed sheepishly while scratching the back of his head. "Sorry about that, Rae."

"It's okay."

More silence filled the air in that moment as we both stared at the sunset in front of me. I picked up a rock that was off to the side with my telekinesis then threw it out towards the water.

It only bounced once before I dipped inside the ocean water.

"It's okay to miss her, it's only natural to miss a person and the memories that linger."

I could feel his eyes on me but I just ignored them as I continued speaking.

"People come and go and sometimes all a person is meant to do in one's life is to be a lesson learned. A lesson to prepare us for the future- for when we come across such a situation once again and hopefully, we are able to know what to do then."

"She was the only one who ever liked me _liked_ _me,_ Raven."

"That's not true."

"Yes, it is and you know it… Even I know this… Who would ever love a freak like me?"

"Love is more than just appearances- it's time that you learned that."

"Raven, I have green skin… Believe me, I know love isn't shallow but really what girl would date someone with such an abnormal skin color? I'm not blind to such a reality. It was why I liked Terra, because, despite my faults she still liked me for _me_. She accepted me… well; at least I thought she did."

I could feel him quickly sinking into depression once again.

Although I was still somewhat bothered by his actions, I knew he needed someone there for him right now. I may not have my feelings on display but that didn't mean I was cruel by any means.

Even if the person currently feeling so melancholic was, in fact, Beast boy here…

"Well, look at me… I'm just as bad as you. I have more of a gray complexion and purple colored hair… not exactly date me material."

I could hear a loud snort erupt from Beast boy as he shook his head at me.

"Trust me that you will have no problems in finding a man once you decide to finally date someone. Trust me Raven."

The way that he had said that, accompanied with how he looked so sure of himself left me feeling like there was something here that I didn't know about myself.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing, forget I even said anything… Just know that you aren't as bad as you think you are."

"Guess I'll make sure to keep that in mind then…"

Silence was once again back except this time it was a comforting silence.

The sun was almost gone by now and already you could see the sky darkening, turning from orangey-pink into the lovely navy blue that was filled with stars.

The sound of the waters along with the presence of Beat boy next to me was sort of comforting.

I closed my eyes for a bit, inhaling a bit of the ocean air.

The sudden desire to meditate right here filled my mind at the moment but those thoughts were soon interrupted by Beast boy's voice.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You already did."

"I'm being serious here!"

"As am I…"

Although I knew he was being serious I couldn't bite down the sarcasm.

I just couldn't and I was not sorry.

"Raven…"

"Sorry, Please, ask away."

Beast boy looked at me for a second, his eyes boring into mine. They were flickering with something I couldn't decipher. He licked his lips before he proceeded to speak.

"Did you believe me when I said that I saw Terra? I mean I know the rest of the team doesn't really—"

"Yes." I answered him shortly after, interrupting his sentence along the way.

"Yeah, you're right… you wouldn't- wait, what?" He jolted up right turning to look at me shocked. His eyes wide like saucers.

"I said that yes, yes I do believe you."

"Really? But how—"

"Your emotions… They told me themselves… they were sincere when you spoke about her."

Realization hit me and his mouth opened, his lips forming the shape of an 'O' as he nodded his head slowly. "Oh."

I sort of weird in that moment, I guess it could be uncomfortable at times to have someone knowing every single one of your emotions.

"Not just that but I also know you're not one to lie about things like that, anyways. Your emotions were just making that a fact."

"I see… Well, I'm glad."

"Why?"

"Because Raven, I hate to be looked at like I'm some lunatic or worse- a liar! Our friendship is already delicate enough as it is. I don't need more things making shit awkward you know… You know that team and trust goes hand-in-hand."

I couldn't help but smile at him. His words were sincere. It felt nice to know your friendship was important to those who you gave it to around you.

I nodded my head at him as he looked down at the ground. He looked to be in deep thought and concentration. Then his head perked up as he glanced at me before looking out towards the ocean once again.

"What is it now?"

I felt some weird emotion swirl in me as I heard his chuckle. He licked his lips before looking at me once again.

"Well, since you did _ask_…" He said mirth lacing every single word that slipped out of his mouth. "I have something else I wanted to ask ya since we're on this whole subject of love and relationships and what not…"

He looked nervous and felt nervous as he asked that.

So was I… Because well, I'm Raven and I don't really know much about relationships or how to handle them…

He was looking at me expectantly and I decided that I might as well at least listen to what he had to say. So I nodded at him letting him know that he could ask. He grinned at me, one of his canine perturbing more prominently than the other one.

"Okay, I'm gonna ask but _don't_ makes jokes okay?"

"Girl scouts honor that I won't." I said and he laughed a bit before speaking again.

"Do you think I will ever -you know… find someone? As in get married, have kids and all that good stuff? Because lately I've been wondering about all of that…"

I sucked in a breath as I let the words process inside my mind.

Did I think he would ever find someone? I barely thought that I would find someone but to be honest I was a firm believer in fate and destiny and I also believed that for every person in this world there was another person made for them.

So… yeah, I did think that.

"Yes."

Seeming quite shocked and confused I had said yes Beast boy turned to me with his mouth dropped.

"You really do?"

"Yes, yes I do… I believe that for every soul that occupies this earth there was one created to be their other half… I believe that love was made to exist for everyone, whether you're a half demon or have green colored skin. Love is for everyone and it's nonjudgmental or biased."

"Those were some really deep words there Raven."

"It's only the truth."

"Thanks." He said softly yet he felt genuinely thankful.

"Don't worry about it… Besides, what are friends for?"

* * *

**And this is chapter 2! Gah, I'm sorry if it took a bit longer than expected but trust me this story, I have big plans for it! I hope my lovely readers enjoy it!**

**Next Chapter: Letting go…**


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